Be Light and Healthy

Letting Go

Posted on: May 22, 2011

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”  Joseph Campbell

Remember when you were a kid and learned to ride a bike without the training wheels?  It was intimidating, scary, and exciting all at the same time.  I remember the bike wobbling as I pedaled down the driveway but feeling secure knowing that my dad was holding onto the back of the seat.  Just the thought of him letting go was frightening, but I trusted that he wouldn’t let go until I was ready.  Truth be told, I may never have felt ready for him to let go.  And if he hadn’t let go, I never would have learned to ride a bike.  Letting go can be scary for children and parents.  As children, our parents guide us and ease us into life’s transitions by building our confidence and creating a safe and secure environment while letting go of us a little at a time as we venture out into the world. 

As adults, letting go can be frightening.  The thought of creating a whole new life can be intimidating and overwhelming.  We become attached to ideas, habits, foods, activities, and people that may no longer serve our best interests.  Many of us don’t give these attachments a second thought and are unaware how they were formed until we pause for a moment and consider our history.  Many attachments are deeply rooted in our lives and developed slowly over time.  The familiarity of these aspects of our lives creates what at first glance appears to be a safe, cozy nest.  When we’re in the nest, especially if we’re surrounded by others like us, we feel a certain degree of comfort.  However, we may simultaneously experience an underlying feeling of unease.  Instead of thriving in the nests we’ve created, upon further examination we find that we are hiding in them and denying that deep in our hearts we are yearning for something more in our lives.    

If you have a desire for something better that keeps resurfacing, it’s because deep down you know you have the potential to achieve it.  It could be a desire for a new career, to spend time with others that share your views, or to embark upon a whole new healthy lifestyle.  If you’ve repeatedly tried to lose weight without success but cannot shake the desire, it is because that spark deep inside your heart refuses to be extinguished.  As long as it burns, you have the potential to accomplish your goal.  Do not let the mental chatter of your mind talk you out of it for your heart knows your true essence.  Let go of the negative thoughts and make room for the positive, nurturing thoughts that will put you on the path to success.  Instead of repeating the same methods that previously did not work for you, try something new.  If you instantly go into panic mode when you think about your weight, pause for a moment.  Take a deep breath and know that you are absolutely fine in this moment.  Then consider one small thing you can do to move you in the direction of your goal.  It could be as simple as leaving one bite behind on your plate, substituting one glass of water for soda, or parking one space further away from your destination.  Slowly incorporating new healthy behaviors into your life is a calming way to introduce change.  It will allow you to get comfortable with the new behavior thus easing the release of unhealthy habits and paving the way for new, healthy behaviors.  It will change the way you think and increase your self-confidence allowing you to slowly integrate new practices into your life and permitting them to become part of your routine like brushing your teeth.    

When I look back at my 100 pound weight loss journey, I cannot recall one big, pivotal moment.  One of my previous unsuccessful strategies was to pick a starting date to embark on a “life-changing” journey that involved extreme dieting and exercising and then dive right in.  I always chose this strategy out of fear – fear that if I didn’t do something extreme, I would keep gaining weight and never resolve my weight issues.  Though I’d initially experience success, I was unable to integrate the extreme demands I placed upon myself into my daily routine.  At this point the fear would predictably resurface and catapult me back to my old habits.  Instead of pausing to acknowledge and feel the fear, I would eat to quell it.  In contrast the beginning of my successful journey was a series of very small steps that enabled me to gently let go of the negative aspects of my unhealthy lifestyle.  Similar to my dad providing the support and stability necessary to build my confidence to ride a bike, I treated myself with kindness encouraging and applauding every small accomplishment as I endeavored to enhance my belief in myself.  Inevitably, there were times when I felt vulnerable as I let go of old behaviors, but I learned that pausing to calmly accept and feel any fear that arose allowed me to release it.  The series of small steps I took provided me with successes that built my confidence and fostered my belief in myself.  

Though at the time I didn’t consciously plan a new life, in retrospect that is the journey I embarked upon.  By slowly changing small aspects of my life and letting my path unfold before me, I transformed my life into something I did not have the ability to imagine at the time.  Easing into a new lifestyle allowed me to successfully deal with the fears that arose as I progressed down a new path.  Letting go of old pieces of my life paved the way for new experiences and ideas that ultimately resulted in the creation of a whole new lifestyle.

I invite you to acknowledge the yearnings in your heart.  If the direction of your life is not resonating with you, letting go of it does not have to be a big momentous, intimidating event.  Slowly trying new things and gently letting go of the parts that no longer serve you will make space for new and exciting ideas, experiences, and people.  Be gentle with yourself as you make small changes in your life that take you in the direction of your dreams.  Nurture yourself like you would encourage a small child trying to master a new task and celebrate every accomplishment no matter how small.  When you feel safe with the changes you are making, you will start to notice new opportunities appearing in your life.  Being open to exploring them will provide you with the next steps on your journey.  Being aware and taking that first small step may be the beginning of an exciting new adventure with an amazing outcome that you can’t even imagine.  In addition, I invite you to forward this blog to your friends and sign up for weekly e-mail updates at www.belightandhealthy.com to get informed and inspired to Be Light and Healthy.  When you sign up, you will receive an e-mail requesting you confirm your subscription.  After you confirm, you will begin receiving weekly updates.

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